“I’m dating a guy who has been a big blessing to me. A few nights ago he asked if I wanted to be a part of the ring shopping process. I wouldn’t want to be heavily involved because I’d rather be blessed by something my future husband thought I’d like instead of planning it all out and not being surprised. But the problem is I don’t feel like I’m as excited as I should be. I went ring shopping with my first boyfriend and have this aversion to it. Which is so sad, because I want it to be a happy thing.

“My fear is that I’ll choose someone who isn’t the ‘best’ for me. Maybe a few years down the line I’d cross paths with a different person who, in various ways, could’ve been a better match. (And I recognize that, once married, I shouldn’t even be looking at others in that way because I would’ve gone all in on loving my husband, whatever that looked like). When do you know you’ve exhausted your due diligence and more forward with a decision to commit yourself to one person vs. being picky and keeping your options open?”